One's life, each stage has things to do and distances that can be calculated.
At this stage, he will ask many questions, and your answers are his draft
Not "how to explain," but "how to tell him so that he doesn't grow up with a wrong understanding."
Verification Signals (more than two are considered):
· The child has asked about relationship issues but been brushed off
· There is obvious tension at home but not explained
· The child shows fear or over-idealization of marriage
Relationship is also an asset
This stage can give the child the most important asset, which is a real but not cruel explanation.
He needs to know:
① Adults also fight, but fighting does not equal love
② Relationships need to be nurtured, not born perfect
③ He has the right to choose the relationship he wants
Don't beautify or denigrate. Let him know that "relationships can be learned," which is more useful than letting him believe that "relationships are perfect."
He can understand the real relationship
Grow up without shadows
Know what is healthy love
Definition
The quality of the child's questions and answers · Family atmosphere · The child's willingness to express
How to calculate
Did he ask, and did you answer seriously; is he willing to talk about family matters
Healthy Range
Questions are answered · Atmosphere is stable · Willing to express
Say "It's none of your business, the adults' things" —— He will make up a worse explanation himself
Beautify to the point of untruth —— He will be disillusioned in the future
Speak ill of the partner —— He will doubt himself
Deceive him and say "We're fine" —— He knows, but doesn't say
Instill "Marriage is complete" —— He will settle for marriage
When he asks, answer seriously, don't brush off
Use phrases like "We also have differences, but we are trying to fix them"
Tell him: Fighting is normal, the important thing is how to make up
Don't beautify or denigrate, say the facts
Let him know: In the future, he can choose whether or not to get married