This life, each stage has things to do and distances that can be calculated.
This stage is not about changing jobs, but about changing circles
It's not 'no friends', but 'none of the people around me are doing what I want to do'.
Verification Signals (count as verified if two or more are met):
· Deep communication 1 time per week
· No peers or hobbies around
· Commuting >1 hour
Definition of Environment
The role of the environment in this stage is to shape:
① Information Environment——What you hear determines what you think
② Reference Environment——What the people around you are doing determines what you think is normal
③ Emotional Environment——Who you are with determines if you are tired or not
Therefore, "changing circles" is not for the sake of utility, but for changing your reference system. If the people around you are working hard, you will naturally work hard; if they are lying flat, you will also.
How many people can tell the truth
There are people around me who are stronger than me
Life is not eaten up by commuting
Definition
Number of deep communications per month · Circle diversity · Commuting time
How to calculate
Count how many people you have talked to sincerely this month
Healthy Range
Deep communication ≥4 times/month · Circle ≥2 types · Commuting ≤60 minutes
Only interact with colleagues —— Single source of information
Take entertainment as socializing —— Knowing a lot of people does not mean having friends
Live far away to save money —— Commuting eats up energy and time
Wait for others to come to you —— Adult relationships require initiative
Only make "useful" friends —— Will be identified
Actively invite 1 person to dinner per month (not business talk, just chat)
Join 1 circle related to your interests/industry
Consider moving if commuting is more than 1 hour (time is more expensive than rent)
Maintain 3-5 people who can tell the truth, not too many
Stay away from people who constantly consume you, no need to break face