One's life, each stage has things to do and distances that can be calculated.
This stage is not about "finding the right person," but about "seeing a person clearly."
It's not about "whether to be together," but "I'm not clear about 'I like him' and 'he is suitable for me'."
Verification Signals (count as verified if two or more are met):
· Long-term sacrifice in the relationship
· Judgment basis is mainly feeling
· Never seriously discussed the future
Relationship is also an asset
The most important asset in this stage is judgment, not "the person."
See three things to see a person clearly:
① His attitude towards the weak——waiters, family, strangers
② What he looks like when he's angry——this is the bottom line
③ Can he admit his mistake
Feelings will change, but these three are not. The judgment you practice now will be used in every choice you make in the future.
Find the truly suitable person
Not be consumed
Know how to choose
Definition
Relationship Satisfaction · Self-Reserve · Future Consensus
How to Calculate
1-10 points evaluate this relationship; how much of yourself do you still have in this relationship
Healthy Range
Satisfaction ≥7 · Can maintain self · Have basic consensus
Only see feelings —— Feelings are the most changeable things
Changebottom line for the other person —— There will be a second time if you change once
Endure a long-distance relationship without discussing the future —— Time will decide for you
Oppose or comply if your parents disagree —— Both are wrong
Take "he is good to me" as the only standard —— Goodness will change
See three things: attitude towards the weak, what he looks like when he's angry, can he admit his mistake
Ask yourself: how much of myself do I still have in this relationship
Have a serious discussion about the future (not to force marriage, but to see if we are moving in the same direction)
Keep your own friends and interests
Leave immediately if there is control or violence, don't "give him another chance"