This life, each stage has things to do and distances that can be calculated.
This stage practices the idea that "others are safe."
It's not "he's afraid to play with others," but "I don't know if this is normal shyness or a real problem."
Verification Signals (more than two are considered):
· No contact with peers at all
· Avoids throughout the familiar environment
· Has obvious aggression or extreme withdrawal
Social Asset
This stage establishes the foundational belief that "others are safe."
It consists of three things:
① Being Responded To — When I cried, someone came
② Predictability — The daily order is more or less the same
③ Being Allowed — I can take my time
With these three in place, he will dare to get close to others in the future. Shyness is not a flaw, but a normal stage of development. Forcing him to be "outgoing" will destroy his sense of security.
The child dares to play with others
He has a few friends
He's not shy
Definition
Number of interactions with peers per week · Frequency of proactive contact · Degree of separation anxiety
How to Calculate
Record for a week: How many times did he play with other children, was he proactive?
Healthy Range
Interaction ≥ 3 times/week · Proactive contact · Can briefly separate
Forcing the child to greet — Will increase anxiety
Saying "How can you be so shy" — He will internalize this as a label
Not taking him to see anyone — Lose the opportunity to practice
Criticizing for grabbing toys — He is learning the concept of "mine," which is normal
Comparing with other children — Each child has a different rhythm
First provide a sense of security: The shy child needs you to be there
Start with 1-on-1, don't jump into a large group right away
Don't force him to greet, you demonstrate first ("Hello, aunt")
Teach "taking turns" when grabbing toys, don't say "have to share"
Create 2-3 opportunities to interact with peers per week