One's life, each stage has things to do and distances that can be calculated.
The most feared thing in this stage is not lack of money, but lack of people.
It's not about 'whether I need a companion', but 'whether there is someone who knows I'm still alive every day I wake up'.
Verification Signals (count as valid if two or more are met):
· Continuous days without anyone speaking
· Completely closed after the spouse's death
· Placing all expectations on children
Relationship is also an asset
This stage's "relationship assets" have three types:
① Spouse——the most direct companionship, but may pass away first
② Friends——people of the same age, who can understand each other
③ Family——children and grandchildren, but not all can be relied on
The most stable structure is to have some of all three.Relying on only one has the highest risk. And "finding a companion" is not a shameful thing—it is a normal need.
Someone to talk to
Not lonely
Someone knows I'm still here
Definition
Daily communication with someone · Weekly social occasions · Self-evaluation of loneliness
How to Calculate
Record for a week: how many days have you talked to someone
Healthy Range
Daily communication with someone · Weekly outings ≥2 times · Self-evaluation of loneliness ≤4/10
Completely closed after the spouse's death —— The more closed, the harder it is to get out
Placing all expectations on children —— They have their own lives
Feeling 'it's shameful to find a companion at this age' —— Needs are normal
Not actively contacting friends —— Relationships need maintenance
Hardly speak alone —— Speaking is the only way for others to know
At least talk to one person every day (phone/neighbor/family)
Actively contact old friends, don't wait for others to find you
Participate in a fixed activity (community/interest class/morning exercise)
If you are a widower/widow: Allow yourself to be sad, also allow yourself to start over
Say 'I need someone to accompany me', it's not shameful