← Return to Matrix · 0–6 years old · Diet
Life is about doing the right things at each stage and calculating the distance.
Eleven Layers. Fromworry (troubles) to red line (red line), each layer corresponds to what he really says.
The same thing, ten people have ten different sayings. These are real searches and complaints.
Know the reason, and you won't think you're teaching wrong.
The child is not fighting with you, but his body is following the program.
New Food Fear (neophobia): 1–3 years is the peak. This is evolutionary protection – if a walking child eats everything he sees, he will be poisoned early. Therefore, being vigilant about new food is normal development, not a shortcoming.
"Not eating this meal" is not a problem, "being forced to eat every meal" is a problem.
Disturbed Hunger Signals: The child's sense of hunger is very accurate. Chasing him to eat, coaxing him to eat, and snacking between meals – these three things will make the "hungry" signal disappear. Once the signal disappears, eating becomes a "task" instead of an "instinct".
He is not rejecting food, but "being controlled".
Struggle for Autonomy: After 1.5 years, children begin to want "I decide". Eating is one of the few things he can control completely – the more you push, the more he retreats. This is not rebellion, but building self.
It's not "the child eats little", but "eating takes up all my patience, and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not".
Verification Signals (two of the following are true, it is a real need):
① Spend more than 2.5 hours a day on preparing meals and feeding
② Had a tantrum ≥ 3 times a week because of eating
③ The child's weight or height curve has been below the standard for 2 consecutive months
The child can finish a meal in 20–30 minutes
I can eat my own food while he eats
The child is interested in food, not me chasing him
I don't have to check "can this month's age eat" every meal
Definition
Single meal eating time ÷ Autonomous eating ratio ÷ Month age growth curve percentile
How to measure
Record for 7 consecutive days: the time from sitting down to finishing, who feeds, and how much is actually eaten (not accurate, use "finished / half finished / not eaten" three levels)
Healthy Range
Duration 20–30 minutes · Autonomous eating ≥ 50% · Weight and height in P25–P75
Just added complementary food (6–8 months)
The core is "acceptance" not "satiety". One meal a day, a small spoon, the key is to try different flavors and textures, milk is still the main food.
Learn to eat by himself (9–18 months)
The core is "let him do it himself". It will be everywhere, this is an inevitable stage. Hand-held food (finger food) is easier to use than spoons.
Picky eating peak (18 months–3 years)
The core is "repeated exposure". A new food needs to appear 8–15 times before it can be accepted. Don't force, don't coax, just put it on every time.
Preschool period (3–6 years)
The core is "establishing rules". At this time, you can talk conditions, set rules, and also understand "after finishing this meal, the next meal will be at what time".
Coax with "eat one more bite"→ Turn eating into a trade, and the child learns to negotiate with you over eating. Negotiating over meals will become a negotiation.
Chase feed→ The child loses the sense of hunger, and will never want to eat on his own. This is the most common and hardest to change.
Eat while watching cartoons→ Attention is not on food, and satiety is disordered. You will eat more, but not enjoy it.
Too much salt and sugar too early→ Taste is cultivated, and light food is no longer eaten. Don't add salt before 1 year old, and don't add sugar before 2 years old.
Force to finish the last bite→ Establish negative associations, which is the starting point of anorexia. If the child says he's full, believe him.
Days 1–7｜Only record, do not intervene – Record the time, who feeds, and how much is eaten for each meal. Your biggest problem now is not knowing the real situation.
Day 8｜Fix three things – Time, location, utensils. Let the body form a rhythm first.
Days 9–14｜Remove interference – Turn off the TV, collect